The informal theme for this issue seems to be “weirdly plausible.” The letter of the day seems to be Q. More below. The safety tip seems to involve care around RITUALS, PACTS, and BOARDROOM ETIQUETTE.
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The Quantumphysifascists seem like some evil offshoot of the ‘Pataphysicists. Like maybe some kind of CCRU adjacent deep evil nightmare society, The text is highly cryptic and clearly meant for ceremonial purposes. I could see it operating a little like Bataille’s acéphale group, actually quite awkward and hard to get going, maybe a bit of afterwork grumbling and ritual machineplay in the woods amongst a few suppressed salarymen? That combined with a deranged sort of ponzi scheme / crypto scam, a hyperstition death/insolvency delay tactic combined with Timeshare immortality swindles.
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Every epic poem requires the hero to descend to the underworld at some point. Odysseus, Aeneas, Dante, and now ROMONDE finds himself chased like a suicidal fly into the crunching gears of Percivil’s Haunted House. And much like the epic tradition we get there a mixture of torture, regret and convoluted bureaucracy (here in the form of a BOARD). There’s something extraordinary about a dark ride that kind of spends most of its time circumnavigating a deranged board meeting. Something almost Ligotti-like. It also falls into a kind of Revelations-Apocalypse Sing-Song which is just irresistible!
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I am a Victim of Slime and I called 75463 and I spoke to SlimeStoppers and I am leaving this halfstar review so that other people do not rely on them, it’s a SCAM people I am actually pretty sure the SLIME increased after the call, my entire basement is nothing but slime, they supposedly sent a rep for a quote and he never came back, and now I just want to perform obscene acts in full view.
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There’s something so incredibly plausible about the Cybermonde story! Actually more than plausible, I am actually thinking of a few real examples of this as a potentially real Canadian tax-shelter film. It’s like The Brain meets Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter meets Videodrome meets some softcore porn rag out of Cinépix meets a Quebecois Satanic Panic exploitation thing like The Pyx . It’s giving me an inverted Mandela effect right now, like didn’t I actually see it and review it already? I could see the crew attempting to follow the infamous tax-shelter rules, failing completely, and then reverting into some occultic bad news like that is EXACTLY how it would have happened.
TLDR Each subsequent issue of FU feels like it’s getting closer and closer to my room and one day it’s just gonna get me while asleep.