This was a lovely lil story. I thought the world was built up well and was an intriguing, scummy, sinister sort of place. It would've been interesting to know more about it based off of things that are said to Bea at the very end but I feel, for this story, keeping it obscure works well. There's something to the way Bea relates to Ava and Maya and to what it means that she has a special relationship with the Sun that I don't know that I entirely saw textually but saw enough to it cooking under that level that it was still pretty satisfying to me. It worked well with the Sun's demands to sort of sell a twisted patriarchal framework to the way the women all get along and to what is expected of living in this city. I also thought the sprites were good (Maya had one in particular that was genuinely unnerving to me) and the music was sparse but effective in accentuating the mood of this place.
If I had any point of critique at all, it would be that there's a bit of a roughness to the presentation in terms of how the sprites were used and appeared and disappeared and moved about the screen that also manifests to some extent in how the text itself was presented. Nothing major at all! It looks like it's you and your teammate's first visual novel so I'm sure that will go away the more of them you end up working on. I would say this is quite a triumph and something you both should be very proud of. ^^