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(+1)

this game is difficult for me to talk about but i want to find the words anyway because i ended up really liking it. this game was upsetting and painful, but i like that. i found it both relatable in a very real way but also less relatable in others. still i took those parts that aren't relatable to me and handled them with empathy. art that is challenging is important, for many reasons but especially for taking in other perspectives that could or will conflict with your own and so i enjoyed it for that especially.

it's hard to talk about without going too in depth about my own experiences. my mother never did anything as bad to me but she was still cruel to me in ways that were often very subtle and i still ended up developing feelings for her despite that, feelings that i still hold now. the depiction of that attraction, of wanting to please your mother, of wanting to save her, even of the mother encouraging that behavior was all very cathartic to read written out like this. i think that i have come to a better understanding of my own relationship through reading this work.

something i am still ruminating on is your depiction of plurality. i related to this less but i do think that is natural between plural experiences, as these sorts of things aren't set in stone and are highly variable from person to person. additionally i have found the depiction of plurality a difficult thing to undertake for many. i think you did well, it not being totally clear working well with how unclear it is for the characters themselves. at least in my case i didn't catch on to what was happening until later within the work, which feels consistent with how plurality often develops unnoticed before becoming more apparent later in life.

the letters in particular are probably my favorite part of the game as a whole, and i made sure to finish reading them all before leaving a comment. i found them a good look into your thoughts while writing, putting much of the story into context and clicking into place the last remaining pieces in my understanding. they are personal and messy and conflicting and indicative of the sort of emotional state that comes from undertaking a project like this. i think their inclusion isn't just insightful but necessary.

i have more thoughts but i would rather not get into them in a public space for how much they relate to my own experiences.

thank you for writing this,

~plushie

(+1)

thank you so much for reading it!!! and for sharing your thoughts on it despite this stuff being tough to talk about. i'm happy that you found it cathartic and helpful to developing further your own understanding of your relationship. we struggled for so long with identifying these feelings, admitting to them, grasping them (still a work-in-progress), i think because when you're so close to a person and the relationship is so complicated and disorganized and all the bad feelings are mixed in with the good ones it's like, idk what to even do with it all. we've been excited to read y'all's submission for a bit (but somehow didn't have it on our to-play list...); i am always curious to see other perspectives on complicated mother-daughter relationships.

as regards depicting plurality i still can't tell if we set out for this to be a depiction or an exploration. the extent of our dissociation was something we for a long time lacked the language for, then denied (primarily on the basis of "well, mom had it, and we're not as broken as her nor did we go through what she went through"), and only fairly recently are like coming to explore and articulate and understand (and things are still shifting). so i wonder how we'll think about this in a few years time.

i'm really glad you found the letters to be an essential part of this! it was so difficult to fight the thought of like "these are literally just yapping, no one cares because these are of no worth" so it is cool as hell to hear otherwise from an external perspective. thanks again for reading our work and for being up for sharing your thoughts on it!!!