I have editted this comment from my original as I've given this work some more thought and no longer agree with my original sentiment.
I think this tackles an interesting idea and even tries to comment on some grand concepts, which is commendable! However I think this falls into some trappings that are worth discussing and commenting on.
It seems to me that a key point in this story is that oni women aren't considered real women by human society, which could be a metaphor for a few things like transness, but I think fits more in-line with a commentary on women who are outside of a eurocentric/white standard of femininity and thus not really being considered "real women" by those within it, given the game's premise and lack of other information I feel this interpretation makes a bit more sense but I suppose it could work in a variety of ways.
I think this becomes an issue when this metaphor gets mixed with the fact that the oni presented in this story do in fact have a desire to kill and eat their human peers, making them directly dangerous to those around them, which does end up perpetuating the stereotypes that these marginalized groups of people are dangerous. I understand this is supposed to be toxic yuri but we have to be mindful to not perpetuate bigotted stereotypes.
I also think it's generally a shame how these metaphors tend to avoid the subject matter directly by avoiding representing minorities and making them as a nebulous other species, continuing to perpetuate the ideas that these groups are "others" and not really "human," a general trend in media that is dissappointing to see each time, especially in a case like this where the oni women are directly harmful to the people around them which further worsens the issue.
If none of this was intended, then I question why so much emphasis was put on the fact that it's an all-male army and oni women aren't considered "real women" at all, and why there's emphasis placed on the lack of "real women" in this army. If this was not intentional, then perhaps there are other biases and beliefs you may hold that must also be tackled, or proofreaders should be considered to catch out potential trappings like this one. If there was no emphasis on the lack of women in the army and that oni women aren't considered "real women" for example, this is just an evil yuri about evil oni women, but this was not the case, so whether intentionally or not, I think it is worth addressing.
I want to be clear: I do not believe that any of this was done with malicious intent, and I do not wish to demoralize you from tackling more difficult subject matter. I believe this came from a good place, but I have concerns over how it was handled and I hope you can take this with grace and understand how this could potentially be read to be perpetuating negative stereotypes, and consider this for your future work and potentially challenge the subsconscious beliefs that have led one to writing these themes in this way. I would love to see more writing from you in the future while learning from this and doing better! Well done on mustering the courage to release anything at all, and I hope this could have been helpful to pointing out a potential issues with these tropes and to encourage trying to be aware of things like this when attempting to tackle more difficult subject matters such as the one you have touched upon here.