the impulse of "taking care of me was someone else's job, and I already do so much, so I won't do that" is tough to manage.
Honestly, a big hurdle for me getting better was internalizing that I deserved to get better. It feels like acknowledging the things you need means acknowledging that you always needed it.
Letting go of the belief that somehow it was our fault, or that we deserved to be mistreated the way that we did was incredibly painful for us, because it was a crutch we were using to ease the psychological pain of all that happening to us.
I'm glad you like the art! I think taking notes like this works a lot better for me than taking text notes does. Plus, I've been learning how to draw for the last 2 years, and it's great practice for that.