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(1 edit)

this was very fun!


i studied indian studies in college and in our department, there were quite a few of those like.. lk obnoxious new age hippie types, lol so when silvia showed up, my immediate reaction was like "ugh here we go" haha. 


the vn does a good job portraying the swaying power of cults and charismatic personalities and different ways in which ana is very very miserable and accordingly susceptible. i also enjoyed your art style with these really thick, bold lines. i do wanna criticize that in the initial bits of the VN, theres some phrasings which are a lil reduntant - i remember things such as "blushing red" or ana going "it's so mind-numbing! i'm bored out of my mind!" at some point. the prose has definitely gotten better towards the end (i imagine when you got into the groove of things more) though. it also leaned a bit more atmospheric towards the end which is more to my taste! 





spoilers:

also, the ending aka ana getting drowned actually caught me by surprise, i totally expected her to just enter some sort of cult and the game to leave it at that, haha

Thank you for reading, and for the kind words!! 

 Oh yeah, Silvia is certainly a very specific type of person lmao. I'm very glad some of the cult dynamics came though. 

Also thank you for your writing feedback, I really appreciate it! It especially means a lot coming from you, since your VN packed such a punch in so few words. 

I love doing atmospheric writing, dialogue and interactions are much more of a challenge for me haha. 

I also haven't written fiction this long...ever?? I did some (bad) creative writing as a teenager, but everything was only a page or two long. So if this was still an interesting story despite the clunky/repetitive prose, I'm quite happy! And excited to improve my writing going forward.