I'll start by saying I generally liked this a good bit! The world was very evocative and the character designs were extravagant in a way I couldn't help but appreciate. The situation itself is incredibly bleak, underscored even moreso by either of the endings, and I think the way you used the choices played well with what this was about. The music and sound generally complemented the goings on wonderfully. Also, like, that title screen.......
That said, I will say something about the way this was paced didn't quite work for me. I don't know if it's the way line progressed to line within the dialogue box, making it feel slower than it needed to and, I somewhat think, belaboring things that didn't need belaboring, or if I genuinely didn't entirely vibe with the way the story opened before it ends up properly at the...I guess, like, yuri things revolve around. It just seemed as though it plodded more than was necessary which made the endings seem, by comparison, very abrupt. It just seems to me like more time could have been spent with the core 'couple' (or the ways Hebe relates to them) or that that material could have come across as less terse. I don't think this amounts to a damning flaw or detracts too much from what an accomplishment this was. It's just something I felt in my experience with it that I felt I needed to lay out.
Great work though! I look forward to whatever you end up doing next.