I'm not sure how to put all the feelings this book punched me in the face with into a succinct little comment (which is why a detailed review will follow Eventually™). Suffice it to say the story has been on my mind since I first got to beta read it, and it's the kind that has me constantly shitposting about it both out of love and to cope with the pain. :)
Assorted thoughts below. Possibly mild spoilers but nothing you couldn't vaguely gather from the content notes.
- Aylan is my beloved little stupid shithead son. I would've liked him to Not Do Certain Things, but he didn't choose the trauma. Well, not all of it. Insufferable boy who truly deserved better.
- This story is fantastic at portraying each and every one of its characters, all leaving a strong impression (shoutout to the duchess and the princess absolutely slaying with words). I'm the kind of reader who doesn't need them to be good people, often doesn't even want them to be good people, I just need to understand. And this book delivers.
- Fantastic use of foreshadowing, where in many parts it's not even necessarily going for 'subtle', but the story can leave you wondering who to trust (more specifically: do you believe Aylan?) and that's the kind of internal and narrative conflict I love to go through.
- Lin is my beloved little non-stupid non-shithead autistic son. I have fact-checked this with my own autistic brain. Aven is my blorbo. Cordelia is MOTHER (terrifying). Gryff is included in this list.
- The world is super intriguing and feels very lived in. Not everything is explained in great detail - most things aren't, actually - but rather you experience them through the characters who think of it as normal. (Well, varying degrees of normal. Magic and all.)
- Every issue has nuance, every character has agency. Yes, there's homophobia, but not everyone just calls Aylan slurs all day. Yes, his fall from grace tarnishes his reputation, but there are people who (try to) love him, and people who agree with him but struggle within society in different ways. You can tell in every single line of dialogue that these are people.
- This book tackles the nuance of consent and how it goes beyond a simple 'yes or no' in ways I have never seen before and the emotional damage and catharsis alike will stick with me for the rest of my life.
There is SO much to say I'm 100% sure I'm forgetting many more great things right now. But I will return. Many times. G(r)ay Prince... my beloved...