You asked for brutally honest, so...here goes.
Psychic zombie aliens on a seemingly abandoned paradise planet? Haven't seen that one before. (/s) And poetry snippets? This is a RPG jam, not art class. They don't add anything meaningful of value. It's not like they are read to the players. I do like the color palette, diagrams, and art, though. Minimalist but classy.
I would have preferred you spend a few more words on a less flat opening. It already clocks in at 11 pages, and a radio transmission, email, or a self-recorded videotape would have been fine. The player hook is sort of left up to the GM to improvise, which is lazy writing in a scenario this long. Also, the NPC names are obtuse, and the NPCs are just...filler. Kinda lame to not even make them unique.
Asking players to secretly answer questions is a recipe for disaster in a lot of RPG groups, but ok, I guess that could work.
This feels like it sort of ends abruptly. I guess the players are like...already mostly psychic alien blanks or something and can decide to blow everything up? It kinda reads like a 10-page railroad. There's some potential there, but it's not really scary. It's like the scenario is trying so hard to be deep, but like...it isn't.
You'd be better off turning this into a short story and not making players interact through this. There's no agency, no meaningful choice, and it's just a vibe piece for edgy art students who play RPGs and like sci-fi. This is what I consider to be the worst kind of RPG scenario, where a short story is translated into a scenario with zero regard for how the players want to tell their own story and turns your RPG group into unpaid amateur actors improv-ing their way through your script.