I didn’t use AI. I’ve addressed this multiple times on my Tumblr, including with details of my editing process, and I’m not going to relitigate the whole thing here, but I’ll give you the short version.
The two lines you’ve quoted are describing two characters, who behave in opposite ways, and the writing is doing what it’s supposed to do there: showing you who these people are through how they occupy a conversation. Izzie talks over you because she’s looking for common ground. Theo doesn’t talk much, but he pays attention. That’s characterisation, not filler.
I’ve had feedback that the prose in chapter one runs too analytical, particularly during the introductions where you’re meeting nine people in quick succession and the MC is reading all of them at the same level of depth. That’s fair, I overcorrected from an earlier draft that was too sparse, and I’m editing to address it. But “this is dense” and “this is AI” are not the same observation, and I’d appreciate them not being treated as interchangeable.
If you want to see process, my Tumblr is @summeroflove-if, there are details of the actual editing, the cutting and reworking, going back months. The game is 439k words of prose I’ve done myself and I’ve been working on it for years. I’m not going to keep proving that every time someone reads a metaphor they don’t like, but the proof is there if you want it.