It might be just me, but I can not but notice that sometimes the dialogs in the game have this A2 english textbook level to them. I am not saying that the writing is bad, but sometimes I can't, but cringe from the phrases that the characters use, mostly because they don't seem realistic or have any character behind them.
Okay I will try but I should probably mention that most of my feedback might sound like ,,If I were the writer" because it way simpler for me to point out the problems, and not because I want to offend the writer.
First of all, I want to point out that at my first playthrough I had this problem with immersion.
The start of the game felt too rushed. Almost like the game was forcing us to finally get to the main part. From the start we can already deduce that mc is going through what seems like mid life crisis or even depression, but that is it. There lack of deep description and the rush of it all creates a problem. The player has no reason to care about the mc or wish to connect to the problems that mc is going through or will have to get through in the future. Which is bad since player is the supposed to be the mc. And if we feel nothing for the mc, we will have problems connecting to other characters. I am not saying you should go give full description of mc life, but something still brief but deep should help establish the connection between the player and the game.
Second of all, I want to point out the lack description. The complaint is close to the first one but I still think I should say something about it.
I will give you a small example with a specific from the game.
After we first meet Noba and are about to leave, Noba calls out to us and asks us to not say goodbye. In this moment there is a lack of any description of how Noba theoretical looks like or what kind of feeling he is going through. A simple description, for example like this ,,You looked back. She looked nervous and almost scared while looking at her own feet. But after few seconds she finally seemed to be able to gather the courage and look back at your eyes. ,,Will you come back?" " can strongly make the player more connected to the character or have a better understanding of the character.
There is also a line when meeting Way for the second time : However they were lurched forward quite a bit. It suggests that they are paying more attention to you, or rather, observing you more intently.
This specific sentence threw me off cuz it seemed like suddenly I was in third person while simultaneously not.
Then there are dialogs that I need time to look over to be able to give a better description of what kind of problem I have with them. But for now I will say that to me they seemed too bland or didn't have the natural flow that usual conversations have(or at least I didn't feel it or seen it at my first playthrough)
For now this is all the feedback I can give about the writing. So to end it on a more positive note I want to mention that the art design is cool and I loved the heart eyes.
Thank you so much for everything. My writer is currently working on episode 2, so I'll have some time to address the issues you mentioned regarding episode 1. Thank you so much for the feedback, from the bottom of my heart.
I'll try to tweak some things in episode 1, but regarding the MC, the idea was that you don't really know who he is because he's supposed to be "you," which is why the beginning is short and Way talks to you from the start, because Way is talking to the PLAYER, not exactly the MC. I didn't want to give the MC too much lore because people wouldn't feel like they were them; I just gave a silly reason for him moving to another city. But I'll try to describe it better within the game, thank you very much.
I fully understand that decision. To be fair the reason for my complaint with the mc might stem from the pace at the start of the game( and me having weird dislike of any kind God in romcoms) and the fact that this is still only the beginning of the game and I don't what to really expect from you in the future.