Where to start, where to start...
The style! It's obvious that there was a really clear visual look you were going for and I think it comes across really well. I liked the old school NVL text formatting, and you even got the 4:3 aspect ratio and everything! Definitely cool to see for a change, compared to most modern VNs. I really loved the visuals as a whole, the backgrounds to the character art to the UI, even just the way the text was positioned, it all felt very cohesive and it's clear a lot of thought was put into it.
I feel similarly about the music and sound in general - the music is great and the sounds effects really help sell the sense of space too. The SFX and ambient noise sort of ground the scenes in a way.
Overall I liked the writing but there were definitely some odd choices here and there. Namely the occasional lack of punctuation/capitalization, and also the use of "lol" just felt a little out of place though that's more of a pet peeve than anything. Small things like that just kept making me question how seriously I should be taking the story. Of course this could also be the point and trust me, I'm really good at missing the point! The more I think about it, the sort of contrast this game has makes me think of it a bit like a less over the top goth version of FL:CL.
There's also a line towards the end that starts with < and closes with ] but it doesn't seem intentional with the way the girl responds? It feels like a missed opportunity not to have used this intentionally to show the characters' closeness but ah well.
Overall I still really liked it! It was very cute and I enjoyed it quite a bit.