i keep coming back to re-read operation eventide.
spoilers below
i first read it in july 2025, in an unfamiliar place, at a time when every day felt disconnected from the past, where i was full of this feeling of motion that i dont think id felt in years. I think that combination is a big part of why i imprinted on this story as much as i did.
now it's almost been a year, and my experience with it is still simmering. beyond the philosophical—the way your writing style always brings out the underutilized part of me that adores science, and storytelling, and nerd shit—sometimes i believe the previous, dominant version of myself was lost through contact with Adelle—the violent, hypocritical rejection of love, the fragmented past where all that i can remember mattering was not having to question whether "I" was even real, the mask that no one buys anymore, that i still can't figure out how to take off...
i picture what it would look like for me to meet a "Miriam" as i am now, and whether eventide is on my mind at the time or not, i see her paths: run, die, or fold. FOR_ETERNITY gets me crying every time, but i know the difference between that dreamlike catharsis and FOR_LOVE, the cycle of sin, the feeling i had on my first experience where operation eventide really saw me, exactly who and where i was.
saying all that, i wanted you to know that im planning on re-reading and thinking about operation eventide for years to come. im both excited beyond belief and somehow even more terrified of what's coming with the final version (read: this work has become inseparable from my life—the way i interface with stories, myself, and others,) which i mean entirely as an encouragement of course.
thank you from an asexual mechabare pervert, with all my love <3
"no matter who I've become // she is loved by you // and thats enough"