NightmareDrake,
Dang! This is an amazing start! You actually got some tears out of me when “the tragic thing happens” (no spoilers). I was wondering... are you planning an alternative where that doesn’t happen? I’d love to know.
I wanted to share what I liked and a few suggestions (just my opinion, not criticism):
Good things:
1. The suspense was great
2. The background/lore was really engaging
3. The music added a lot to the mood
Suggestions:
1. It would be nice to see the other characters during dialogue... it would really help visually, especially for a visual novel.
2. I know you’re not done yet, but Ad feels a bit static (a lot of staring at Night). I’d love to see more movement or facial expressions.
3. Going back to my earlier question, the main character’s final outcome feels a bit forced. I understand it’s the prologue, but maybe having one or two alternate outcomes could help it feel more natural...just a suggestion
Overall, this is incredibly well done and has a lot of potential. If you ever want more feedback or need help, feel free to reach out!
Keep up the amazing work!
– BlueMoonCheese1