I eventually gave up on Windows and just ran it through WINE. Worked like a charm. Well, it is the year of Linux on the Desktop after all.
And dang, I'm glad I went through the effort! This is a really cool title. It gives me some "lost media from the 2000s" vibes, and I enjoy these a lot. It's a fairly bizarre format, but I think it works. After all, unique things are always more interesting than generic ones. I love the crunchy pixel art style with the thick outlines, I love the character designs (some really cool critters!) and I'd be interested to see where this one goes.