i get where you're coming from, but I've played many gender-neutral games labeled as "otome" games, the game Obey Me for example is referred to as an otome game even though the mc is described to be unisex.
i'm not responsible for others misusing the label. that is really seemingly only an issue in new and western games as otome is a long-standing Japanese game genre that has exclusively female leads
"amare" is the term you guys are looking for. play willowmist emporium demo
