i get that, that shit is quite the serios decision to make, been thinking about that stuff myself, i ultimately feel like, whatever gets you to feel comfortable with yourself is a good thing, speaking about myself for a sec, i have struggled with feeling comfy with myself for a long time now, that self hate sucks too have, can't remember the last time i wasn't being an ass to myself lmao.
Whatever gets you there in the end is good, life is too short to get consumed by that self hate that i can't seem to escape from, so from one random person to another, whatever you decide in, i wish you good luck on that journey!
We all deserve to be happier, in a world that constantly wants us to give up, don't let that despair become a syndrome too your life and your future!
Sorry for the yap, you have my support, and many others i'm sure.