I love this! Clever concept, very pretty execution. I had a go at it:
SUFFOLK MAN UNDERGOES STRANGE TRANSFORMATION - THOU WOULDNT BELIEVE WHAT HAPPENED NEXT
(5/2) Suffolk Man grows tail, asks Local Swordswoman for help
(1/6) The pair petition the Queen for permission to amputate the tail. She refuses! Her chambermaids are disgusted by the very notion!
(1/1) Suffolk Man also grows antlers! Responsible Community Members rise up against the Evident Threat, and lock Suffolk Man up in a shed. A great example of Community Resilience!