Really like the storytelling in this one, but I do agree with the consensus that it feels like the majority of the map wasn't necessary (which isn't a bad thing, it happens!)
I think if it was just the time trials with some more storytelling, maybe including Shiori and Kronii since they're already present, I think this would be a great submission!
But all things considered, you did a good job on the art, and putting everything together, since it sounds like it was a little last minute. Would be great to see you come back and add some polish and trim or tweak some of the currently unnecessary mechanics . Good work!