So it's plainly evident that a lot of work went into this one, especially in its presentation, to deliver on the jam's optional retro tech theme that has accordingly been applied very, uh, optionally across the other entries. The idea here is cool, but I think it just lacked that little something to really push this into the top tier.
Uh, spoilers going forward, I guess? Though it's just a Saturday morning cartoon plot, so not much to really spoil. Anyway.
Starting with presentation, this is clearly where the VN really shines. The main menu screen and comic panel-style intro really do a great job of setting the tone (though I agree with the commenter below that it's a bummer we never see this presentation again - I get the jam restraints though), and the music is all really well done and evocative of the aesthetic you're trying to emulate. Having a BGM player on the main menu was a nice touch as well, and this game's soundtrack certainly deserves it.
That said, I do feel that this VN could've benefitted from reconsidering where to deploy each of those tracks. There are a few moments when the music playing doesn't seem to fit the mood of the scene, like during the band breakup when the music is too chill, or when Phase and Jeff are having their heart-to-heart and the music is way too hyper. I think what you were trying to go for is representing diegetic music that would be present in the scene, like what would be playing over the mall PA or in the arcade respectively, but I don't think that works well with the style you're trying to present. Focusing on diegetic sound works well when you're telling a realistic, grounded story, but doesn't fit with the elevated reality of a Saturday morning cartoon when the music is a soundtrack that complements the emotion of a given scene. The music in the breakup scene should be tense, and the music in the heart-to-heart should be peaceful.
Just another quick note on music, if you're going to do a record scratch gag, cut the BGM. That's what the gag is - it's cutting off the record that's playing the music in the scene, so if the BGM plays through it, it's kind of missing the point.
I thought the art was solid as well, and I appreciate all the assets that were provided for this project, though I have to agree with the commenter below again in that I wish the characters, or at least Swage and Phase, had angry or heated expressions to fit the arguments in the breakup scene, since all of those expressions felt far too happy.
In terms of proofreading, there were some issues (e.g., "But he didn’t have to make it all about himself, you know?" and the next line are repeated, some misuse like "come in on your queue" where "queue" should be "cue") but nothing that inhibited my understanding.
For writing, I don't have much to say about the plot, and this doesn't really feel like the kind of thing where I should have a lot to say about it, just like I wouldn't do an in-depth thematic analysis of a random episode of Talespin or whatever. And that's fine, not everything has to be Tolstoy and cartoons in the 80s were popular for a reason.
That said, some of this did get a bit repetitive - I know the vibe you're going for, but the "bro, I'm so sorry bro, I should've been more of a bro, bro" resolution did overstay its welcome a bit for me, and the "bad practice jam" gag was a welcome effort at first that very quickly lost its effect by the third iteration.
I also did not particularly care for Boost. While fourth wall-breaking metahumor isn't exactly new, Boost's particular brand felt more like the metahumor that was really pervasive in the 2010s rather than the 1980s, which feels very tiresome to me at this point and didn't seem to fit the intended aesthetic as much as the rest of the cast. (also, some of the things he says are wrong, like misusing the term "dramatic irony" when discussing Phase's initial plan - dramatic irony is a specific term that refers to the audience having information that a relevant character doesn't have).
If you were going to go for this meta angle, another approach could have been having a character that found the VHS watching the episode and making comments about it. I'm not sure I like this idea either, and I'd rather the overtly meta stuff be cut entirely, but it would integrate the idea of lost media that's present on the store page better, since that's not really present in the actual VN right now.
So yeah, probably one thumb up, one thumb down from Siskel and Ebert on this one, but this was still an entertaining, stylish little episode and I think the team should still be really happy with the result.