i hope that you can work on yourself...I'm more then happy to help you in any way I can...you just have to open up...
dude...its not healthy to cling to the past...because you'll just keep hating yourself for shit that you didn't mean to do...
but what you can do...is just live with your mistakes
sure you wont like them...but you cant change them, you just have to let them heal...
look at your mistakes as lessons...not as disgusting wounds on your soul
remember that you might have made that mistake...but that's ok, because you can heal...and be better, even if its slow (⊃。•́‿•̀。)⊃