Not to be that cis guy, but I can dozens of top transwoman influncers who also identify as "shemale." Not only that, but sissy, femboy, whatever too! Sure do I have gripes with word usage? Yes. But the whole point I thought of self-actualization is identifying with whatever terms you associate with the most.
Respectfully, this is just one of those things that are just "It's 100% offensive to me." I get why you hate it, but you can't just claim that a whole community as diverse as this one uniformly despises that word or to the extent you do, respectfully.
You are right though: started as purely derogatory, than transwomen through porn industry reclaimed that word to make big dollas off of it, and now it's one of the biggest categories in the business. A story of triumph, and using your enemies' tricks against them. That's what I see anyways.
But I'll call anyone what the WANT to be called and I default to transwoman. The key is reading the room, being aware of words, and just coming at it respectfully. Respect can wash away someone doubting your pure intent, in my experience.
Do agree dickgirl sounds more elegant, ngl.
Or, we could think of it like this: What is trans porn typically labelled like BY cis people? Those offensive terms listed. So, why would trans women post under those terms online? Simple: Because that's what people are looking for. That's HOW people are looking for it. So, you label it in a way that gets the most clicks, even if it's directly offensive to you as a creator. Making it a sadly, self-perpetuating cycle.
This isn't just like, theorizing, by the way, I know trans women who work in porn who have directly stated that the reason they 'identify' using those offensive terms is because it's what's expected of them. Dozens of them. I've never seen one that's like, 'yeah, I'm fine with it and it doesn't feel bad' it's always, 'it feels bad, but I need the views'.
As for 'trans women using femboy', that could easily be some form of non-binary, but that term isn't inherently offensive like 'shemale' is. That one is JUST offensive.
Than, as another commentor has said, trans people in sex work and porn should stop using it, even if it drives down clicks if that's really the reason, because otherwise it just creates a cycle where trans people complain about cis people using that word, but use it in porn. That, assumes, trans people are basically one big monolith, which they aren't I'd guess.
And like the other person said, know dozens of trans people, in the West and USA for that matter, who have no problems with that word, as long as it's used respectfully and with consideration towards what others would want to be called. The fact is, the ones that DETEST it are the loudest.
Honestly, and this is wild, sissy as a word seems more accept in the LGBT+ sphere than shemale, which denotes the said transfem usually making a cis guy her bottom. And I know many do have a problem with the usage of sissy too in terms of self-identification, but not to the extent as shemale or even dickgirl. Which is WILD, ironic, but funny as all heck too. So I can't quite see your point, Annie. But I'm not one to invalidate others experiences, as long as you don't invalidate others.