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Good question, the difficult bit is that a lot of the NTR genre is subjective and I've tried my best to make the different flavors in my works feel distinct to help with that. The netorare path in Sharing is Caring did have some mild (in my opinion) emotional damage to the MC as the FMC would gaslight and harass him into submission, though there is a point where the MC can walk away from the relationship. In Secrets and Boundaries, so far we haven't delved too deeply into the netorare side of things so there isn't anything too hard just yet. I would describe what you're looking for as "hard netorare", which my games don't really get to that point, at least in my opinion, and it's not something that I really aim for. I aim for more "soft netorare" where there is some mild humiliation/degradation/etc. but nothing too extreme.

I hope this answers your question, I appreciate the thought put into it.

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actually i didn't play either games,i'm asking to set my excpectation. 

I asked this question cause sometimes there are games tagged NTR,but are actually hard NTS,where mc is very submissive and fmc have complete reign. so i asked if NTR here mean actual serious betrayal then making mc put up with it with fmc not seeing mc in romantic light (ntr) or is it basically a case where fmc is given free reign as part of relationship (doesn't need permission/boundaries) with mc taking role of cuck but both are still connected romantically and she always come back to him (hard nts), as opposed to soft NTS where mc is the dominant one.

but from your answer i get it's still actual ntr (serious betrayal and loss of romance), just not hard NTR overboard humiliation like in some hentai.right?

Right, that's the general idea on the netorare path. Both games do have paths for netorase (where the mc is dominant and wants to share) and netori (mc steals other people's partners) as well.