You need to chill and take a breath. Everyone is here because they love these games, could a talentless fraud bring in an audience like that? Of course not, Your original plan of working on LSHRM for the next update then going back to HTA after was a fine plan. Whatever direction you choose to go is your own decision to make, but whatever that decision is you gotta stop beating yourself up. We are often our own worst critics so let me say it instead, you do good work and I respect it quite a lot, you have gotten a lot better at this since when you started so just step back for a second, breathe and take things one step at a time. Everything will work out.