Really enjoyed the first chapter! Can't wait to read more about the lore and interact with the other characters. I love the idea of archetypes and hope to see more flavor text for them.
I started reading The Will of Many during a flight earlier this year but never got to pick it back up. I do remember finding the world and lore super intriguing, so I'm happy to find an IF inspired by it.
Also, hope you don't mind, but here are some spelling mistakes I found while reading:
This was on the Emperor Archetype run:
- This next choice solidfies [solidifies] your character archetype. No locks out of dialogue choices, or major decisions, but it will effect [affect; verb] flavour text.
- A servant scurries over to bring two plates breakfast to the table, when Aemilia begins discussing the intinerary [itinerary] of the day.
- You can never be sure, as the cirriculum [curriculum] and details of The Academy are a closely held secret graduates swear to keep.
- Choices in response to Aemilia's remark: "Since the establishment, and conquerors of old, Diam has been built upon hierarchy."
- You frown. The heirarchy [hierarchy] has never rubbed you the right way. Elitism isn't to your taste at all, like it is to many of your peers.
- The words do not phase you at all. The heirarchy [hierarchy] has been built on history; trials and tribulations of the past, it is neccisity [necessity].
- Soiree:
- He clears his throat, like hes [he's] about to regale you a grand tale. "The first trial is to do with fighting," he whispers, then stops.
- Interesting. "That's all you know?" you whisper back. You think aout [about] the implications. You should train more sparring, but should you tell Aemilia?
- There's ripples of nods throughout the crowd. Collectively, they raise a glass as well in return. A servant offers you a flute of champgne [champagne], and you find yourself among them.
- You look at Caesar next to you. He stands strong, like the marbled statues they make of rulers past. Theres [There's] a determined ridge in his brow at your father's final words, a spark in his eyes.
- Choice when bandits ambush carriage: You wince, its [it's] not a pleasant view at all. If only those bandits had seen their mistake earlier.
This was in the Fool Archetype run:
- Sparring scene:
- The edge of your sword clashes against hers, sparks flying as you [missing verb?] "You're going down today."
- She suddenly pulls back, leaving you teetering forward precariously, and before you can catch youself [yourself], her sword is sailing down in an arc directed at your neck.
- "Lets [Let's] return now. Wash up and change, there are some... visitors coming later."
- Soiree:
- Aurelia just stares at you, like you just spoke some ridiculous words. "Even if I told you, your brain would be too small to comprehed [comprehend] it."
- Gates, asked guard to spin 5 times:
- You laugh, purely amused at the sight in front of you. A grown man listening to such a ridiulous [ridiculous] request. "Thanks for the laugh, my goodman."
- The door is not a traditional one, instead an inpenetrable [impenetrable] slab of concrete no man could break except with an ungodly amount of virtus.