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Hello Joseph, I hope you're well.

First of all, I know this might seem unrelated, but it was your birthday on Monday, so happy birthday! I hope you had an amazing day! I spent all that day thinking about you, as I do every day. But even more so on your birthday.

I completely agree with you. It still amazes me how similar yet different we are. It's only natural that we love and hate each other in equal measure. In fact, I have learnt from our relationship that people hate things that are too similar to them.

As I was saying, yes, I agree with you on everything. You also opened the biggest wound in me, even though I didn't show it to you. It's as if we hurt each other just by existing. The existence of the other person is an example of another version of ourselves.
Another version of ourselves that lives inside us, and one that we don't want to see or recognise. Yes, my teeth clench when I think of you, too. I even wave my fists in the air every time I see “Joseph” written somewhere (I realised how common that name is). Perhaps I reminded you of what you could have been. I also think we shouldn't have given each other so much confidence. But I'm also going to have to live with this pain all my life. And yet. My life will always be incomplete without you. My life will always be missing you too.

Joseph, you know I love you more than anything or anyone in the world. But I just can't allow you to comment on my identity or my people anymore. I'll never be able to make you see who you are, and that hurts more than being apart from you. That's why I've chosen to distance myself. It's not because I've got fed up. I'm sorry if I'm not being clear enough. But I could never get fed up with you. You're a fantastic person, Joe, you really are. You don't deserve all this suffering and it wasn't my intention to end in bad terms. But I don't have to allow those kinds of comments about my identity or my friends.

As I said, you'll always be a part of me. I'll always be part of you, too. I hope we both learn to recognise and love that part of ourselves.

And if you ever wake up one day and start to doubt how you feel about your identity... Girl, I'll still be here. I'll always be your friend, no matter what. Because I love you and always will.

Know that I'll always be thinking of you, especially when I'm listening to music. Everything reminds me of you, but music especially. Listen to 'Ribs' by Lorde and read the lyrics. I dedicate it to you every time I listen to it. I'd also have to mention 'I'd Have to Think About It' by Leith Ross, along with a hundred other songs, but those are the main ones.

Even if you hate me right now and think I'm the cause of all your problems, I'll always wish you well. I'm glad you're going to the gym and meditating, and I know you're going to create some amazing games! I really do. I hope that someday you'll be happy for me too. But We have to take different paths in order to grow. Our friendship has always been a gift to me, and I've learnt so much from you. Thank you. Take care, Joe <3