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A short and sweet story about an unwanted transformation. The writing is evocative, but it felt too much like an outline rather than a story for my tastes. I would have liked to see the dialogue and character actions expanded.

(+1)

Yeah, I actually started with something much bigger and more complicated (similar story and themes). When I realized I wasn’t going to finish, I started over, aiming for the simplicity of a folk tale. I agree that the submitted draft doesn’t quite nail it! I almost think this draft is too much, doesn’t quite nail the simplicity aspect.


Thanks for reading!