heya , Tristan. truly sorry to hear about your grandfather and it sucks to have so much distance between both of you. while i'm not sure if it's feasible, i hope you're able to see him again or to at least continue to connect with him in some capacity. He sounds very special and while I dont know either of you, i'm glad he was able to serve in that supportive role that it sounds like you so very much needed. that's a powerful position and it sounds like he did it like a fucking rock star. i was fortunate to grow up with 4 grandparents; all lived in the same town as I did. I lost them all back-to-back while writing this (i was writing the bar scene from the hospital when I lost the first one) but despite seeing them regularly, i still have some regret that I could have spent a little more time with them. My experience taught me to encourage others to spend the time they have-- and even if it's not that much time-- be present for that shit and capture every moment you can.
In terms of the story here, if it was able to play any role in any of this, that's amazing and i'm grateful, but the important part is that you process things the way you need to. You don't sound like you're wallowing. that's a journey man-- it's fucking hard-- and you're entitled to work through it in your own way as you try to find the peace you need. I've wallowed-- hell, i've put my heart out on my sleeve in writing this thing in countless scenes that just continue to build as the story progresses. So if you experienced emotions in certain things, I'm right there with ya doing the same thing on my end. If it helps you, don't be afraid to read into shit however you want.
Seriously appreciate you reading and leaving a comment but most of all, i appreciate the supportive example your grandfather is setting for you. i dont even know him but it sounds like he gave you something special and the fact that you value that, is probably the best gift you could ever give him. Appreciate you man. appreciate your time, appreciate you reading, and I hope whatever lies ahead is as peaceful as it can be for all of you. May we all be half the man you're grandfather is. All the best <3 -Aaryn