SORRY THAT I TOOK SO LONG I PROCRASTINATED AND THEN I LOST MY NOTES AND HAD TO DO IT AGAIIIINNFJRNJEC BUT HERE HERE!!! ALL THE CAESAR CIPHER TEXT IN THE SPOILER (or at least it should LOL)
AAAAAA I FORGOT TO MENTION THE TRIGGER WARNINGS!! OKAY SO
TRIGGER/CONTENT WARNING- MAJOR Trauma, MAJOR mentions of CSA (Child/hood sexual abuse), violent thoughts (murder, hurting others), self-harm, self-esteem issues, depression, MAJOR suicide
Cipher text deciphered
SHOPPING MARKET PLACE (?) -
I think zulwlGjbrxu qdph dQGdgrudeoh2qlfnqdPHv l zdqw1brX wr fdooph dOo ryhu pb ergBlv!1ixQ - I think writiDgyour name aNDadorable2nicknaMEs i want1yoU to callme aLl over my bodYis!1fuN
DULCES ROOM -
POSTER -> there arevljqv ri pb sdlq exw qr rqh olvwhqv - There aresigns of my pain but no one listens
CHOISES -
VRphWKlq’Hovh - SOmeTHin’Else
sohDVh grq’w gR Wklv SOhdvh QRw djdlq QrW djDLq - pleASe don’t dO This PLease NOt again NoT agAIn
BAD CHOICE SCREEN -
L ZLvk L FRXOgGR wrKHUIOHVK ZKDWvkHGLG WR PbEUDLQZKHQ L ZDV DQ LQQRFHQwErb ZLWKQR IOL HQGV WRuWXUH khuNLOOKHU phvvzlwkKHU FRUSVHEHBRQGUhFrjQlwlrq - I WIsh I COULdDO toHERFLESH WHATshEDID TO MyBRAINWHEN I WAS AN INNOCENtBoy WITHNO FLI ENDS TOrTURE herKILLHER messwithHER CORPSEBEYONDReCogNition
Vkh xvhg wr vdb vkh zrxog gr glvjxvwlqj wklqjv wr ph. Vkh zrxog dovr orrn dw lpdjhv ri dgxowv grlqj jurvv vwxii zlwk brxqj whhqv ru nlgv lq iurqw ri ph. Rqh wlph vkh hyhq vwduwhg vhhlqj sruq ri wzr fkdudfwhuv iurp pb idyrulwh fduwrrq, wkdw nlqgd uxlqhg lw iru ph. L wulhg wr ljqruh lw dw iluvw “Pdbeh roghu jluov duh mxvw olnh wklv?” “L grq’w kdyh pxfk iulhqgv rwkhu wkdq khu…”. Dv L juhz xs dqg hvfdshg iurp khu L uhdolchg krz glvjxvwlqj lw zdv. L zlvk L frxog irujhw, vrphwlphv Lw’v kdug wr vohhs. L zlvk vkh nloohg khuvhoi. Vrphwlphv L nloo pbvhoi. L vwloo fdq’w vohhs. - She used to say she would do disgusting things to me. She would also look at images of adults doing gross stuff with young teens or kids in front of me. One time she even started seeing porn of two characters from my favorite cartoon, that kinda ruined it for me. I tried to ignore it at first “Maybe older girls are just like this?” “I don’t have much friends other than her…”. As I grew up and escaped from her I realized how disgusting it was. I wish I could forget, sometimes It’s hard to sleep. I wish she killed herself. Sometimes I kill myself. I still can’t sleep.
SINK CHOICE -
MIRROR -> L grq’w kdwh pbvhoi. Exw pdqb wlphv L gr kdwhorrnlqj dw pbv hoi. L kdwh lw. L kdyh wklv zhljkw lq pb fkhvw wkdw vwudlqv pb khduw dqg lv rq pb frqflrxvqhvv. Rq pb phprulhv hyhq. - I don’t hate myself. But many times I do hatelooking at mys elf. I hate it. I have this weight in my chest that strains my heart and is on my conciousness. On my memories even.
BATHROOM -> wkh wklqjv wkdwvfxp vdlg dqg zurwh… lzlvkLfrxoghvfdsh wkhp. L zrxog eh xqfrpiruwdeoh lq wklv iohvk dqbzdbvexw wkdw pdgh lw hyhq zruvh. - the things thatscum said and wrote… iwishIcouldescape them. I would be uncomfortable in this flesh anywaysbut that made it even worse.
BATHROOM -> Lmxvw zdqw wr eh d shdfhixo dqgsxuhpdq iuhh ri doo glvfrpiruw dqg ghsudylwb ri glvjxvwlqj fuhdwxuhv olnh khu. Lzdv mxvw d brxqj erb. - Ijust want to be a peaceful andpureman free of all discomfort and depravity of disgusting creatures like her. Iwas just a young boy.
BATHROOM (?) -> L zlvk L kdg pruh wlph mxvw ehlqj d kdssb brxqj erb. Lw zdv yluwxdoob qrwklqj. Mxvw wkrvh wlphv vwudqjhuv zrxog pdnh pb gdb… L zdv vlpsob d kdssb brxqj erb iru dw ohdvw d ihz plqxwhv lq wkhlu hbhv. - I wish I had more time just being a happy young boy. It was virtually nothing. Just those times strangers would make my day… I was simply a happy young boy for at least a few minutes in their eyes.
UNDER THE BED -> Dq lqqrfhqw, kdssb brxqj erb ru d shuihfw, sxuh pdq. Pb lghdo yhuvlrqv ri pbvhoi. Exw l eduhob kdgwk h fkdqfh wrixoiloo dqbripb guhdpv. - An innocent, happy young boy or a perfect, pure man. My ideal versions of myself. But i barely hadth e chance tofulfill anyofmy dreams.
NOTE -> yhfhv fuhr txh bd qr kdb pdv hvshudqcdv sdud pl - veces creo que ya no hay mas esperanzas para mi - Sometimes I think that there is no hope left for me.
CAN’T REMEMBER -> l ihho hpswb, vwrohq ri wkh wuxh ph dqg iloohg zlwk vr pdqb kruuleoh wklqjv lqvwhdg - i feel empty, stolen of the true me and filled with so many horrible things instead
GOOD ENDING -> Ru hyhq kdyh ylrohqw wkrxjkwv ru whqghqflhv wrzdugv rxuvhoyhv ru wkrvh zh kdyh ihow kxuw eb. - Or even have violent thoughts or tendencies towards ourselves or those we have felt hurt by.
BAD ENDING -> wubdjdlqdqg djdlqvolwwlqjPb QHfn djdlqDQG djdlq - tryagainand againslittingMy NEck againAND again
HIIII THANKS FOR VIEWING THIS WAS SO FUN