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(2 edits) (+3)

I created a damn account just to comment. 

This was wonderful. The world-building, the character development, the humor, the themes, all of them are done masterfully. One of the best on the goddamn site! 

The world-building was excellently done. I am amazed at how much you gave with so few words. Thank you for not just having an info-dump chapter, and spreading it out. The journal entries were fantastic, and really conveyed how good intentions slowly but surely warped into something truly dystopian. I loved how you even brought that up.

I really felt like the characters mattered. I adored each of them, and the deaths of [you know who] shattered me. Phenomenal work. 

The dialogue, especially (albeit surprisingly) the humor, was very well-done. I laughed a lot, and that's really nice during stories such as these. I had such a sense as to the raw emotion from the characters. They truly came alive.

The themes were really the strongest part of this. I had to step back and ponder to myself during the choice to fight or flee. You've really captured the essence in why I love what I call "optimistic dystopian", that is, really really dark, but with hope and ideals to guide the characters.

Lastly, the music... by God the MUSIC! I cannot praise you enough for the choice and placements of it. At first, I thought it'd be distracting, but it very much added to the experience. 

One slight critique is that I'd love to be able to save and load playthroughs, because I got stuck in the 'Character Traits' menu and... yeah.

All-in-all, this was a masterclass in how to do this kind of story, and I adore it. Well done.

P.S. I romanced Ferret, who you did an excellent job with and may I just say that I've only cried once before during a sex scene, and that has now happened twice. So... good job with the smut!

(+1)

I was grinning like a fool just by the first sentence you wrote! Then the rest of your comment… 🥹

I really appreciate everything you wrote, thank you! I was particularly pleased with the comment about “optimistic dystopian” and the inclusion of hopeful themes and dialogue. It’s very important to me that the ultimate message is a hopeful and uplifting one, and I’m glad that came across. (I’m also glad you appreciated the smut scenes, lol. Those took me foreverrrr! 😅)

I completely understand the frustration at the lack of saves, my apologies. I built this using Twine Chapbook which was the easiest for someone like myself who has never coded before, but it has limited functionality. My newest IF is in Sugarcube for this reason.

Thank you SO much for not only making an account to comment, but taking the time to write out such kind and encouraging words! ❤️