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OK, My thoughts so far.

I am enjoying this AVN. The visuals are really good. The story is pretty epic. I am really loving it. The dialogue is OK, but there is a lot of room for improvement. Having been (obviously) translated form another language to English, it is lacking the thought structure that goes along with being a native English speaker. Phrases and manners of speech are following the original language's structure, and it makes the English translation harder to understand. It is just good enough that one can get the gist of what they are saying most of the time. Maybe collaborating with a native English speaker would help? Outside of that this is a great piece of work.

Keep up the good work.

I agree, there are some spots where the writing can be improved, so hiring someone for a decent pay to fix the errors, the story will have more depth