I don’t know why I feel this way. I want to be fine with having a good life but I can’t. Sometimes I wish there was something wrong with me so people would feel bad for me. I can’t tell if this comment is for me or just for attention again. I sometimes make up fake scenarios where something wrong happens to me just cause the thought of people giving me attention for it makes me feel better. It’s not like I don’t have friend or family that would help if I said something it’s that I’m just to scared to. I once went to a therapist hoping it would help but soon enough I would just cry every night and come back to therapy just to tell her I was doing good. I don’t know why I did that. I have 4 close friends I hang out with and whenever they hangout without me I always feel like shit (which is right now.) But I know soon I will feel better like non of this happened. I’m not even crying that hard but i genuinely don’t know what’s wrong with me because then I feel bad for trying to get attention so then I stop trying. Back to I want something bad to happen to me for attention, I wish I was super mentally unstable so people could help. I know that wouldn’t make anything better and I do know people care about me. So why do I feel this way? I wish I was someone special, not just a normal person. Like maybe if I was super smart or had a lot of friends. I want to hurt my self but I’m too scared to.