Here I am, I just read your novella and I will tell you that it was awesome in general from the moment I started reading novellas. I was disgusted with fan works like why if there is an Official.
But your novella interested me, outwardly it reminded me of Ryukishi with his sprites and blurred backgrounds and I decided to give it a try.
The setting is very close to me since I started with Ryukishi's works, in your drawn sprites and in general in everything you can feel that you put your soul into it and it gives significance and charm to your work.
I don't know how to describe the plot, it's deceptive at first, it's just a story about a killer and the main task is to catch him, but then it becomes more and more paranormal - inexplicable and I like it, I hope that it's not just Glitches or some kind of drug.
By the way, is the boy at the Festival a reference to Meibar Keiichi? And I really liked the twist with the Foreigner in the red dress, I didn't expect that at all, I applaud
I have a lot of thoughts but English is not my native language I am writing all this through a translator about such novellas as this you should not talk but play, but still there is one thing that I don't like the moment with Shinji in the closet at school it was disgusting don't resort to such "Techniques" more as for me it was too much
That's all, I'll be looking forward to the continuation of the story if you plan it.