I think there are a lot of interesting things going on in the story, but they don’t all fit together in the way that I’d like them to. Faolan checks a lot of boxes for a “rich man comes to ailing village to offer Faustian deal” story, and Desmond calls him out for essentially exploiting and killing Angus (Faolan even implies that he cheated Angus when he brings up that he needs more power to sustain a larger town), but what comes after that is much more concerned with Iomhar’s disappearance and Faolan’s sadness/helplessness. Desmond is never shown again, and Angus/Iomhar doesn’t think about him. Iomhar’s disappearance and relationship with Faolan are mentioned early in the story, but don’t set up enough for the ending where Iomhar essentially takes over as the main character. Angus and Iomhar are sort of the same person or merged in some way, but the ending sex scene feels much more like Iomhar than Angus, and much of what we know about Iomhar comes only at the very end.
Making a deal with a famine god to bring prosperity has some interest to it since you wouldn’t think that prosperity-giving is really in the purview of the famine god. And then when Faolan says that he was at odds with Iomhar in ideals since he wanted people to enjoy themselves and not work all the time, it gives the impression that maybe the famine god has some good points against the harvest god. There’s some yin-yang balance thing going on here, but then famine seems to just use the “people should enjoy their lives” ideal to isolate Angus from his friends.
I think that Faolan’s characterisation in his introduction is strong, but the rest of his story with his abandoning Angus and feeling sad about being abandoned by Iomhar comes too quickly.
I do like the CG and animation at the end with Faolan and Iomhar. It helps to show Faolan as a sympathetic figure after being condescending and guarded for much of the VN. And the scene where Angus gets Iomhar powers has a lot of drama to it in a good way, with the tree sprouting in the field and all the description of Angus’s feelings and struggles in the moment. I agree with some other commenters here that you did well with the provided jam sprites. Desmond’s character lines up well with his sprite and expressions, and the text acknowledges Faolan’s suit and brooch, and they figure into the story as people view him in a certain way because of it. Plus the whole famine thing.