Solid ideas here, but a bit too unfocused to make everything come together effectively.
Breaking things down by review criterion, spoilers from this point forward.
Implementation of Theme:
There are a couple different ways you could look at this. You have the darkness of self-doubt and frustration that clouds the MC and Min's relationship and its approval by Min's parents, and then the darkness of the weird stuff affecting the Forest and the light in its eventual repair by the protagonists' actions.
Both of these suffer from similar issues in execution though. First, the "darkness" doesn't seem all that dark. MC and Min's relationship never really feels threatened by Min's parents' disapproval. It's something that's nice to have, but doesn't feel all that critical for them. We really only see the issues plaguing the forest in a couple of random injuries and a pretty contrived conclusion from the parents that the Forest wants them all to leave. Otherwise everyone is pretty content living in the Forest. The fact that both of these plots are resolved so quickly and easily doesn't help either. Like, these themes are there, they're just not consistent enough to be effective in my opinion.
Story:
As mentioned in the top line, I think focus is the primary issue with this one. When writing, it's important to keep in mind both "what is the purpose of this story? Where am I going with this?" and "how does this particular scene contribute to that purpose?"
For much of the story, we're just kind of wandering from scene to scene. It's a lot of "and thens" and never really seems to gel into a cohesive narrative. You could actually make this work if the project was less story-focused and more just meditative, like sort of a furry Walden, but the parent and Forest plots take it out of that space.
The sort of constant movement between scenes means that several moments that should linger pass very quickly too. Examples of this are the two main scenes that resolve the parent plot. First, we have a lot of build up leading to the confrontation - Min gets all amped about it, the tense music builds, and he delivers his speech, and the response from his moms is basically just "o shit sorry" and "oh yeah my bad". It's definitely okay to have a peaceful resolution and have the characters focus on seeing the good in each other, but this feels very anticlimactic compared to how the conflict was written to this point.
May's flashback also feels a bit like a squandered opportunity. This opens like it's going to be incredibly enlightening and extremely important, but really all that we actually get is "I was originally an outsider. I wanted to leave, so I did." There are a lot of questions that get raised by this scene - what is the Movement? What are their reasons for fighting the Forest other than just a vague notion of disliking the "Other"? How did May get involved? Why was she disillusioned? What was Grams' role in that? Was she helping other people escape? How did May's attitude evolve to instinctively reject all outsiders even though she was one? The story doesn't really address any of these because we're already moving onto the next scene.
The last major issue I want to bring up with this one is that the thruple situation with Oskin seemed a bit forced. It felt more like we were told that he was awesome and that he was one of the MC's favorite people now more than that relationship developing organically, and it felt like a bit of a weird choice to have Oskin be MC's companion in the epilogue rather than Min, who's supposed to be the primary partner since it's a May Wolf entry and all. (Also his mom's name is May... May Wolf... Missed that one on first read).
There were a couple other things that probably could have been cut too. The perspective change to Hutch and Connor is kind of out of nowhere. This doesn't really happen at any other time (other than the isolated flashback sequence) and could be cut since I don't think it adds that much anyway.
Presentation:
This was probably the strongest area for this one. This VN handled music a lot better than most, with the tracks all feeling very fitting and doing well to set the tone. There was also good use of movement with the sprites to help sell some of the scenes and I thought there was a lot of good effort to use the stock jam sprites to maximum effect. I think this may also be the first entry I've seen that actually used the snow leopard character, so props there too. Other images like the mist forming over the pit were also really effective. Only knock on presentation was the spelling errors throughout - this could have used another pass for proofreading.
Creativity:
This was another one of the VN's stronger areas for me. I appreciate the effort in setting up the lore for the story's world and its denizens, and I also appreciate the approach in going for a more pastoral setting rather than the more heavily dramatic premises that seem to be more common in the jam. As stated above, I think this just could've used some more fine-tuning to maximize the use of that premise.
I know there was a fair bit of criticism above, but please don't take any of that personally - it's all intended to be constructive. I think you have a lot of really good ideas here and I hope you keep writing and putting out projects since you could make something really special once you start nailing the pacing.