I can see the vision, but I’ll refrain from saying much since it feels like a very early draft.
Writing for your own enjoyment is a good, fun way to spend your time; but making a product that everybody else consumes is a whole different thing. Lots of the lines still feel like fragmented ideas that didn’t flow cohesively into a consistent narrative arc.
I would strongly suggest investing in editorial work before going further. Refine the rough edges into solid structures, maybe have someone beta-read and give detailed suggestions.