Solid visual direction and gorgeous art (sprites and CG), both work really well to elevate the simple, fragmented narrative. The writing is enjoyable and delivers just enough story, though if we stick with the jam theme, a touch deeper into Dusky's struggles (like the fountain scene) would be better.
Not sure if you intended the story to just scratch the surface and lean on realism, basically saying, "yeah, this is the short story of one gay dude, could be anyone you wouldn't know". I just feel like you can brew a stronger mix. Regardless, it's a nice read.