(Copied from discord: I did not review based on the themes here.)
So the fvn as a whole is a good attempt, but sadly falls flat a bit with the may wolf part. The story is kind of split into two ways at the middle. At the start it's a story about friends and his relationships with them, but there is no wolf to be sighted. Just in glances. Afterwards we go to the school and than it becomes a story how the MC LOVES LOVES the wolf boy with just the school background. The second half misses the sprites and it just made the whole experience awkward to read through.
The poems were neat. Although, it needs some working. They are not set as narrator lines that's why they are awkwardly not in the middle. My main point is that we have two storys that wanna work together, but in tone do not mash well. Now one of the main issues of the story was overtelling. There is a lot of unnecessary extra lines that were already told out. For example: "I love him, I love him so much!" This scheme was told TWICE in the fvn. It's also a bit unnecessary, since we should by reading his experiences already that he loves him. The sentence was not needed.
Than they are other flaws that happen in the overtelling department at the first part of the story with the rabbit. (Sry I am bad with names ;.;): Example 1: The rabbit tells us by his dialogue that this is a bad movie without straight out saying it. That was good, but than the timing was cut, by a comment that tells us what this rabbit wants to tell us. Afterwards the rabbit explains in detail. Why the movie was trash. So the whole small tidbit with the mc detailing was an issue with the pacing. It just got me out of the flow. Example 2: The MC tells us in the middle of the rabbit dialogue that he is like a dad to him. Afterwards the rabbit tells us that he feels like his dad. So the whole telling was not needed.
There was a lot of beginner writer problems with the proses. Being scared of writing indirect prose in non-poem parts and not wanting to make short sentences. (Idk why people believe short sentences to be bad in writing.) Sometimes the writing does not want to make it indirect with telling it's story, which is fine. Nevertheless, it does make some scenes... boring to read?
Since there is no small ambiguity in the words. It does not turn my monkey brain to fill in small gaps and it doesn't make me invested in the story. Ambiguity in the smallest forms helps a lot to just make a reader more willing to take part in your plot. Moreover, the reason why is simple. It makes the brain turning, which means they do not get everything on the silver plate.
This is where I compliment the dialogue. It had flaws. At the start the phone conversation could have been made into the phone UI that can be looked up in free resources in renpy to make it visually more appealing. It had no period endings, so it was hard to get through the messages. Although, this is may wolf and as far as I know this is their first time programming, so this is more of a future tip. The dialogue most of the time has worked to make me invested, even with the sudden cuts sometimes. There was a little scene to point out that I liked. There was a small "Please kill me." in the left corner that shows up just for a few second, before he was telling the poem. It's miss able and I liked the inclusion of it! Now to the second part to wrap this review up: Some textboxes were hard to read, cause the writer was probably afraid of writing too short sentences! For example: "He said it made him realize and cherish those things, they were the love for his dreams, the love for his family, the love for me, Manny, Ryan, and the love for the things that came to pull him up through the darkest times of his life." Cut this sentence up and it becomes more readable! And one thing that came to my mind:
"He said" is not a passage you wanna use in a vn. Try to convert those words to a dialogue! Overall, it has a lot of flaws, but also a lot of potential. I had a decent time with it. I hope this doesn't come of as rude or anything. The story itself was ok and a bit of a mess, but it can be learned from.