This is an extremely cool concept, always good to see a randomised depth-crawl! Here is my feedback:
+ Great use of colour to emphasise the layout
+ Depth-crawl procedure is great
+ Synth-Croc! Evocative descriptions and monsters
- Some of the descriptions feel a bit verbose (depth 0 and locations); some editing or reformatting would make these easier to parse the key information.
-The cover page is a bit hard to read, especially with bubbles
- Minor typos and some inconsistent bolding for emphasis.
- Living coolant is cool but confusing, unclear how it occurred/ what it wants, is all Jump Drive coolant like this? How did it happen?
- The arrangement of pages feels a bit weird if it were a physical object