Thank you. Reading it has made me feel less alone - so many of my own thoughts reflected at me. The paradox of wanting to be forgotten and wanting to be remembered exactly as you are with no misinterpretations, at the same time. The selfishness inherent with the choice to foist making a decision onto someone else, as opposed to the selfishness inherent to love and sacrifice. It reminded me of the courage that I have somewhere deep within, collecting dust, that I need to draw on to love myself, no matter how terrifying it is. Even if building a pain tolerance is comfortable, even if pretending that I want nothing is easier.