I already knew I'd like it from looking at the page, but damn, I did not expect it to be this good! You already know something’s wrong (or at the very least going to be) from the start, but really seeing these characters in action was an amazing experience. Personally I just love stories with deeply flawed characters and this one absolutely did not disappoint. I especially like Dylan, because I have somewhat of a soft spot for brutally honest characters like him.
The writing style is great too. It’s hard not to get invested when everything is so clearly described, and especially for a story like this it’s very important that it’s done right. So good job on that!
There are really only three possible downsides I can think of.
First, this story really isn’t for everyone. That’s not just because of the themes and triggers, but also the length. Three hours for a prologue is very long, and that can turn some people off. I don’t mind that personally, though.
Second, it’s kind of quiet most of the time. The sound effects are fine, although the volume does differ quite a bit (unless it’s intentional that the loud ones almost jumpscare you), but the lack of background music might be something you want to look into. It can add a lot to a game, and it would be a shame if you didn’t use it. Then again, the silence can also be used to punctuate the sound effects more, as you’re kind of doing already.
Third, although you shouldn’t change that now, I think the hallucinatory moments might have been here a little too early. There’s enough drama and tension already given Aaliyah’s poor treatment of her friends and adding the psychological factor didn’t add much for me. Depending on where you go with it, you might be adding an additional dimension that’s not entirely necessary and distracts from the main plot. I assume it probably has something to do with recovering from the trauma surrounding that person’s death, but again, I haven’t seen the link that clearly yet and it doesn’t seem necessary so far. But like I said, you can still do a lot with it and it doesn’t have to hold you back necessarily.
Lastly, have you played Echo and Doki Doki Literature Club by any chance? Because I can really recommend them if you haven’t. This story feels like a unique blend between the two and I couldn’t help but notice some of the similarities here. I think you’d enjoy those games if you like this sort of thing. (Also to anyone else reading this comment: check those out if you haven’t yet; they’re really good).