Uh, so it doesn't have to do with gender, but a special kink that you can toggle off. If you go to your bedroom and look at your forbidden tomes, "Jealousy and Pride: How Inferiority Can Engender Ecstasy" is one of those tomes. I don't recommend having it on for a first-time playthrough since it does change some of the context of the game, but the whole point is to have your partners be critical of you specifically as a fetish. They would have similar dialogue if your character had a penis as well.