Use it, if it helps you in any way. It's counterproductive to spend time and effort on talking oneself into or out of using it, because, as you said, this kind of technology is here to stay. Doubt you could get any good results out of the current models when it comes to writing (especially given the fvn specifics), but if you had any good experience with it being and editor, spell-checker and whatnot, then just use it and don't worry about it. If the morality or ethics are of high concern, remind yourself that you were not the one to collect the entire internet to train these models, so unless you actually use them to copy others work, just don't bother and use the tools that you are given.
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This is definitely another way to see this situation. It's true that the small artists didn't create these models or trained them on stolen work either, but I also did feel like a fraud when I asked the AI to tell me its opinion of my work. It felt like I was cheating in some way. The feedback I got was good though and the AI got me to think about some parts of my novel where it mentioned that it was going too fast. I then thought to myself "A real editor would say the same thing though, right? So if I use AI, it's ok. I'm just skipping a step." But then I felt guilty about it because I thought that using AI makes me lazy. Had I googled for tips on writing or watched a Sanderson video and it would tell me the exact same thing as the AI, would that then be better? I don't know. I'm just as conflicted about this entire thing since I first discovered it.
As far as stealing other works, I steer clear of that as much as I can regardless of AI. It's not really possible nowadays to not have some sort of trope found in other works, but I avoid copying other novels like the plague. For me the problem with copying someone else's work is that I feel it diminishes my message. I even avoid reading certain books if they're in the same genre of what I am currently writing for fear of subconsciously taking parts of that novel and implementing them in my own work.
But I do agree with your last point. AI is a tool. Nothing more.