idk if this will help but after the death of Ivan and till from alien stage i just started imagining theyre alive and happy and have a totally normal family together and whenever i saw ANYTHING mention they werent alive i blocked it out my memory like the normal person i am(joking obviously)
So just try that? :3 (also i got my friend to help us storm our darling authors place so get your pitchfork and torch ready >:3 )