I give, I fold dude. I am not a nekopara fanatic by any means. Just played the game back in the day, saw this and thought 'why not'
Your story has made me feel awful, so kudos. Especially because I am not normally bothered by these kinda things. I think your writing is doing something right in terms of reaching the audience. It hooked me and I kept going even though a pit formed in my stomach about the whole thing. Even days after I read it, I'd randomly think about it and it'd start again.
I am very curious about characters like Elise, I REALLY wanna know 'why' she's doing what she's doing. Why is she seemingly so keen on pushing Vanilla.
But I just can't, it bothers me too much. So, I am going to have to drop the story... This isn't a negative review though. If this is your kink its an endorsement, because man, it felt real and intense. And again, I don't have any attachment to Vanilla so...
I hope you broach out eventually into other genres, because I do think you write dialogue really well and believably, and I'd like to read more of what you write, just not this sorry bro.
I normally like netori but will dip my toes into the other kinds of ntr occasionally but, again this one was just too much. I couldn't disassociate myself like I normally do.
I have to ask though, for closure, will you indulge me and tell me what Elise's motivations are? I don't need a giant wall of text, just a vague summarizing sentence. You don't have to, it'll just make me feel better as it was the biggest question I had.
That was basically the conclusion I came to, that its her kink and she's a slut. Buut the two comments about her boyfriend kinda make me think something else is going on.
She told Vanilla she was clingy and lost her BF cause of it, now while this could be a lie, one that Vanilla calls her out on, I kinda don't think it is.
When Vanilla calls her out on it, Elise covers it up by saying its a different boyfriend, but what I think is going on is that Elise had a BF, long distance relationship, and probably IS the clingy type, resulting in her doing OF stuff and then getting dumped by her boyfriend, makes me think she's a little nympho.
This of course doesn't absolve her, she's a lying conniving bitch of a woman who is seemingly set on ruining relationships lol. But she is interesting.
I find with most lies, people bury a kernel of truth in them, which is why I do think the second statement, about the boyfriend not liking it is true. Her texts with the MC is definitely trying to gauge his reaction to the content, see how far she can skirt close to danger, and probably is getting off on it as well. She may also be building a bit of blackmail, so if the MC tries "this is cheating" she can come in and hit him with the fact he's viewing OF content while with Vanilla.
As for the other girls PoV, I don't think the creator said anything about that. But they did sat they'd like to make a game about Veronica and her BF. So you'd presumably see more of her PoV in that. IDK if the other girls would be as prominent in it, however.
It's kinda pointless to speculate since we don't know anything about him. But I wonder if Veronica's BF, Jacob. Is really okay with what she's doing. I know that whenever people get into a relationship for the first time, or particularly after a previous bad relationship, they're more likely to put up with things that make them uncomfortable than they otherwise would.