Here's the best i can do achievement wise,
EAT THE LAMP
just type "eat lamp"
You can't get ye flask
"open inventory", then just type "use" in front of all 5 items
Find your Phone
"find phone"
Don't Find your Phone
"search phone"
That's my Ice Cream
"eat ice cream"
Make 'Em Bigger
"gain weight"
Win the game
"kick computer"
and that's all i got
also, try "eat windows" :D