It doesn't really matter what my views are on this game or your story, in the end, you were hurt, badly hurt, by the disgusting desires of men, by the broken system of capitalism, everything was pitted against you and it broke you.
To feel nothing, to want to feel pain, to not know if it was even rape you experienced, all these things are devastatingly underwhelming results of any kind of sexual abuse. The human mind is fragile, when it comes to sex, most animalistic men think of it as a fucking game, like some kind of arcade where all you do is score points and get highscores or some shit, but in reality the human mind seriously questions all the implications of sex, and this level of corruption and mysoginy and barbarism, followed by the most dystopian normalization of it, it is too much for the human mind.
I hope you are doing better.