There's promise here. There is a great idea here and you seem to have a story to tell. What you need is polish and editors. The text has occasional minor issues, and the voice acting needs editing and occasionally direction. Many a line had strange pauses in the delivery and the sound levels were unbalanced between characters and occasionally out of whack. The page breaking also needs work, some lines are clearly split when they shouldn't be. This can all be fixed with more resources. Keep at it, you will get there.