Post by Raven in Symptoms of Deceit comments

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Thaumo is cute, but a bit clingy. And dense.
And he clearly needs to either develop some interests (even if it is yours.)
He feels very.... empty.
And not just in the way yandere's usually are. But like the character lacks depth.

Other than that, I like him.

...why is the MC so hung up on what happened to that co-worker? oO
It's not like they were particularly close, as far as I could tell.
They weren't friends or anything, right?

Is the game still under development?

Because so far it seems to end whether you let Thaumo stay or see him tomorrow. Which doesn't seem like an ending, more like a "to be continued" thing. It's not like it'll kill you, but it's also not a 'happily ever after' thing.
It's just the end of another day.

(No clue what the other two ends are, but I'm guessing the relate to the other possible love interest, and I don't really care for him, so....)

Assuming this is not a demo, the game is a bit short.

But overall it's an interesting concept, pretty good artwork, and pretty good writing.

I'd love to see a less clingy version Taumo, with a little more substance.
But otherwise I like it.

strawberry squid22 days ago(+6)

Thank you for your comment, I appreciate it! I’d like to do everything I can to improve my game, so I’ll keep these things in mind 🫡🫡

The MC was not close with the coworker, but it’s still traumatizing to see someone you know get murdered in front of you. For the next update I have added 3 scenes of the coworker & MC interacting so his death feels a little more relevant and impactful.

The game is a demo and is still in development. I am working on adding new content and improving old content. I usually work 50-80 hours a week and am on call a lot, so my progress is slow 😅

I definitely want to + plan to add more content to give Thaumo more depth.

I am sorry to say that he won’t be any less clingy, though. He is an extremely clingy, needy, and desperate person. It’s totally understandable if he isn’t your type!

Raven12 days ago(-1)

Hrm. I will concede I have not seen a human murdered in front of me, and I am about as normal as Wedensday Addams on these things, so I'll take your word for it.
Human emotions tend to elude me at times...

I think it will help if you add a bit more character traits to Thaumo, so that he isn't defined solely by his neediness.
I may not like that particular trait of his, but I think he'd be a better character all round if he had some more depth to him.
Maybe a show of vulnerability that explains his clingyness (fear, trauma, whatever), or some interest in something that he is passionate about.
(There is a million videos on youtube on writing, and a ton of books. Try Brandon McNulty on YouTube. He has some good pointers on writing. And writing good characters. He's a published writer for a reason.)

(There are many ways to be clingy too, for that matter. Most yandere's tend to be. But if you use Sebastian from Particles of Reality as an example of the ideal yandere; he knows when to back off, but he never -really- backs off. Or the pink-haired guy in...ah... 14 Days With You. He is also clingy, but manage to come off as charming despite it.)

I look forward to see how it turns out.

itch.io

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