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(3 edits)

Im only a few pages in. The character design is realy good and i like that there are a buch of references to Popculture and even other games (even if the headmistress dosnt name the Twins), but bro, you need a proofreader. See example. I hope you find someone to help. 


And one from the headmistress

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Actually, not many people are playing my game so I don't really have feedback, and I deeply hope to find a partner to help playtest and catch any flaws (since I’ve been doing everything all alone). Frankly I can’t really tell where the problems are myself because I don't read carefully after finishing every part. I truly appreciate your feedback, and I’ll try to make some time to review the content (though it’s a bit difficult given the current situation). If you find any other issues, please don’t hesitate to let me know❤️️

Apart from the sometimes very bad spelling and some strange wording, I didn't find any notable errors. Dont know if its possible with game writing, but some (if not most) of the spelling might be fixable if you just copy the text into word or any other office writing program. 

Since this is a very, very early version of your first project, it makes no sense to point out the sometimes creepy facial expressions or jerky animations. You are probably more than aware of this yourself and are working on it.

And I'm a bit hesitant to criticize your game because I couldn't do anything in this direction myself. So what right do i have ^^'

However, what would be helpful and (as i hope) rather easy to implement would be a few tips on when (and probably were) you can meet which person. The neighbor, for example. Or the various teachers. You build a nice journal but its not very helpfull for now.

Hope i dont sound harsh or demotivating here! Thats not my intention! I see lots of potential in your game.

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Your comments are really helpful! I do need guidance in my work, and I’ll think about how to improve the task system (like the tips you mentioned). As for my book(journal), it’s indeed designed for multiple functions, but I haven’t been able to implement them yet~ And my poor spelling...It’s probably because I rely too much on AI for editing XD? Anyway, I still have a long way to go, and I hope to see your feedback again in the next update~~~